A few events in the past week have led me to this point...
The first was a Sunday escape from the normal "marriage and family" class to attend Temple Prep. Let's be honest, marriage isn't my favorite subject... there is a past for the discomfort in that topic that we aren't getting into it here. I chose the class because 1. the teacher is HOTT! 2. A few of my friends were in it and 3. I remembered really liking it when I took it right before my mission. I wasn't prepared for how the lesson would hit my heart and compel me to be stronger and better about my temple attendance.
The second event was a priesthood blessing I received tonight to help with the excruciating pain in my back. Let's just say the blessing had a lot more to say then just a normal "get well soon" blessing.
The third was a desire to also read the Psalm of Nephi tonight, which, if I'm being honest, I was also not prepared for the way it would hit my heart tonight. I love the way Nephi pores out his heart in this chapter of the Book of Mormon. I was especially hit with his cry to his own soul when he exclaims "Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart, and give place no more for the enemy of my soul." and then continues on "O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin? May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gates of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the path of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!"
It's hard for my to imagine Nephi with some great sin after reading all of the amazing experiences he had as a servant of the Lord. It's hard for me to imagine his soul "drooping in sin!" However, I know my own weaknesses, and while I know Nephis great enemies were is own siblings, I imagine my weaknesses being my enemies. My cry tonight, my psalm... "Rejoice O my heart and give place no more for the weaknesses of my soul! My God hath been my support, and I will trust in Him!"