There is something about Bob Harper that gets my blood pumping!!!!

In 2004 I met a friend (in the form of a mission companion) named Michelle Demke (now Bliss). Michelle worked hard, and inspired me to be a better person! She to this day remains one of my favorite mission companions.

The alarm clock would go off at 6:00 every morning Michelle would obediently jump out of bed, drop to her knees to say her morning prayers and then get in the shower. She would then enter our room and say "Sister Carrier, I can't believe your still in bed, get up!" She would then make me run a mile with her around the town of Kimberly Idaho. At first I hated her for it...despised her for it. THEN my thighs started to look sexy hot, my tummy got flat, my face looked better, healthier... I lost 75+ pounds after meeting this girl!

Michelle and I only served together for 6 weeks, but she helped me develop a love for running! When I returned to Kentucky after my 18 months of serving I quit running. WHY? Maybe because I didn't have Michelle pushing me to go the extra mile. I also gained back every bit of the weight I had lost.

My first hobby up for revaluation is going to be working out and working my way up to being a runner again!....

BOB HARPER is my new best friend!

feeling kinda blah....

THIS WEEKEND HAS BEEN A ROLLER COASTER...

Let me elaborate on a few things about myself...

1..I am a feminist. Not anti-man, but certainly pro-woman
2..Men often scare me. They’re bigger and stronger than me, plus there’s always the chance one will break my heart.
3. I have had my heart broken, and it still hurts...
4.I have often wondered if I will ever have the courage to fall in love again.
5.It’s not that I can’t or don’t trust men, it’s that being head-over-heels in love is extremely dangerous for a sensitive girl (or boy, no doubt) and I’m trying to keep any man from ever having that kind of power over me…again
6.I want to be married and have a family some day making the above issue very difficult

One of my biggest pet-peeves is when a woman is disrespectful to herself and other woman. WE ARE DAUGHTERS OF GOD. Take pride in who you are, love yourself and for CRYING OUT LOUD quit letting a boy who thinks he's a man control your emotions and your decisions.
IT IS STUPID AND YOU WILL GET HURT....PERIOD!

I know this makes me sound very cryptic. I can assure you I am not. I am open to love if it is good for you. I am not open to a self sacrificing and purely selfish gain love. NOW, I understand that all relationships require sacrifice. There is however a difference between sacrificing for the benefit of the relationship (such as a compromise) and sacrificing because you are an IDIOT.

NOTE: I wish you t know that I am speaking MOSTLY to myself, but believe all woman need to hear this.

Beth's search for Fulfillment.....

FULFILLMENT: a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires....

This is where the BIG question comes in.....WHAT ARE MY DESIRES? what do I really want out of life?..........
I had a conversation the other day, a repeat of one that I've had many times in the past....."what are your hobbies Beth?" they ask..."what do you want to do with your life?"..."what do you want to be when you grow up?" I am a grown up, I will be a whole 27 years old in a little over a month, and these questions still perplex me. I have no idea what I want to be, or what I want to do for the rest of my life.

THIS IS A LIE! I do know what I want...I've wanted the same thing since I was three years old. I want to have a family, I want to be a mom and take care of my children. I want to do the mundane and boring things of life on a daily basis. I want to cook dinner for my family and complain about how much laundry there is to do. I want to love my husband passionately and be loved by him, and I want to enjoy every minute of it! .... but, apparently this isn't good enough....

I've never been the kind of girl who dreamed of a career, getting up and getting dolled up every day to go to the office. It's not that I don't want to work. I find great fulfillment in doing a days work for a days pay. It's just that I believe there are more important things in life then the all mighty dollar. Like a successful family and marriage....

I have hobbies.... some may find them to be boring, but to me they bring a small sort of fulfillment...
I enjoy reading! There is nothing better then an adventure through the words of a creative mind! I dream of having a library in my home one day. Wall to wall books both entertaining and educational.
I also love cooking! The success of dominating a difficult recipe is thrilling! The best part of the process is watching someone else enjoy what you have prepared. The worst part....cleaning up...

I know it doesn't seem like a lot, it's not, it's only two small hobbies in comparison to my sisters amazing abilities to sew, cook, scrapbook, paint, photography, cross stitch, and still keep up with her family... it seems a little overwhelming to take on all of that.

WHERE WAS I GOING WITH ALL OF THIS......oh, yes, I am on a search to find fulfillment... I want to discover new adventures and new hobbies and new talents.... I hope you will join me on this journey...